Funkengroovin Wednesday - Frankfurt Airport and Beyond

How many times has VB passed through Frankfurt Airport watching all the hard working VWs, while sipping her hot latte? Too many. So this time, VB decided to do something about it. But first, she needs to point out the car below, on display at the Duty Free. The Boss Man wants this Mercedes (Mechatronik), and he wouldn't mind the blond sitting next to him, as well.

BTW, every time VB passes through the Frankfurt Airport, they seem to change everything around. It's gotten to be absolutely confusing anywhere outside the Gate B area.

(Below):
The workhorse of the VW fleet at the Frankfurt Airport, appears to be the T5 aka Eurovan. From Wikipedia: "The fifth generation of the VW Transporter hit the market in Europe late in 2003. It is a direct successor to the T4 in its looks and utility value, unlike the Microbus concept car that VW had been showing around several years prior to the T5's introduction. The Microbus concept was almost produced, but Volkswagen scuttled plans for building it due to cost problems.
The T5 Transporter is not available in the North America in any form. Instead, Volkswagen offers the Volkswagen Routan, a passenger minivan based on Chrysler LLC's Dodge Caravan."











(Below) A VW T5 truck.


The following photos were taken on the way home from The Cairo Airport.
(Below): A VW Bus passing a ginormous truck.


(Below): More of the "Riding On Top" phenomenon.


(Below): Passing a Beetle.


NEWS:
Photos of new VW ads from Brazil: "VOLKSWAGEN TRUCKS. FOR EVERY KIND OF LOAD."
(These are probably going over much better than the new Walmart milk cartons.)

A commentary from the New York Times: Be the Prius
"Motorists can drive smarter in response to high fuel prices." And also, from the same author, Don't Drive Less. Drive Smarter:
"Studies have shown significant increases in fuel economy are achievable simply by changes in driving style (a few things got cut from this piece, by the way, including an obvious one: Cruise control aids MPG — but not cruise control at 70 mph)."

Any NASCAR fans out there? Then Ask A NASCAR Driver, should be for you - again, from the New York Times, Freakonomics Blog. Go ahead, ask Kyle Busch anything you want.

Drive-ins: An American Classic Reborn
"...About 400 drive-ins presently operate in the United States, a surprisingly large number in this age of personalized, on-the-go media, but many people don't even know they exist. Today, the industry is just a glimmer of what it was once. Back in the 1950s, at the height of the drive-in era, there were 4,000 theaters showing first-run films — it was a marriage of two great American passions: automobiles and movies..."There's nothing quite like [the drive-in]," says April Wright, a filmmaker who has traveled the U.S. for her upcoming documentary, Going Attractions: The Rise and Fall of the Drive-In as an American Icon."

Prince Charles' Aston Martin Hybrid Runs On Wine
(Hiccup!)

Auto biography:'76 VW Beetle convertible is Newport couple's pride and joy
(That's Newport, Rhode Island, BTW.)

"NEWPORT It was a case of falling in love in paradise.

When Jo-Ann and Kevin Burns visited Lahaina on Maui, Hawaii, in 1978, she fell in love with the ubiquitous Volkswagen Beetle convertibles that were being used for basic transportation."

Automotive profile: Volkswagen's Heinz Nordhoff
"While working at Opel, he was noticed by Major Ivan Hirst and Colonel Radclyffe of the British Occupational Force that was running Volkswagen after the Second World War.

The pair needed someone to organize the reconstruction of the VW factories that had been ruined during the war.

Appointed VW's managing director on the first day of 1948, Nordhoff flourished because he realized the potential of one little car."

Hot Wheels of fortune
"After 40 years and 4 billion sales, Hot Wheels colectors know it's the little things that count.

Imagine paying $100,000 for a 1969 VW Kombi. And a hot pink one at that. Plus the bloody thing doesn't even start. So you won't be hearing that familiar dak-dak sound echoing through the suburbs. For all that money, the only extras are the two surfboards hanging out the rear."

Camping holidays: Heaven in a VW
"Painted egg-yolk yellow, and with the famous, cheery VW sign on the front, the van certainly looked the part; I was just worried that I might be the one letting the side down. It belonged to Andrew Stefanczyk, and is one of several that he rents out from his base in Hertfordshire. He acquired his first van last year, when his teenage son bought a wreck via eBay, and Stefanczyk saw the potential in doing up old vans to hire them out to fair-weather hippie chicks and sometimes-surfer dudes."

(A bit of satire here.)
New Book Uncovers Startling Evidence that Adolf Hitler was a Practicing Hippy
"When he was not ordering stormtroopers into Germany's neighbouring countries, Adolf Hitler would relax with a large bong and strum on his ukelele.

The dictator would often break from the serious nature of waging his campaign to "paint flowers on his VW Camper van" before driving it around the Bavarian countryside with his entourage of free-spirited fellow "magic mushroom munching hippies".


Warning: Explicit Language
George Carlin Airport Security

Weekend News Roundup

Notable articles from the past week.


ISLAM:

Good Muslim Immigrants

Here's an interesting -- and not always in a good way -- article from Der Spiegel on American Muslims. Its thesis is that American Muslims have responded in a positive and potentially empowering way to the challenges of post-9/11 America because the United States has a better immigration policy than European nations.

But a some of the language is problematic and just plain odd. Like the bit where the writer claims that "America's new Muslim immigrants now find themselves being associated with [black] people who were traditionally viewed as America's losers" because they now vote almost entirely for Democrats. Huh? There's an odd whiff (or should that be stink) of elitism that runs through the article, as in: Wealthy, educated immigrants are good; working class, uneducated immigrants, bad.

Equally perplexing is the way the writer simply sweeps away the entirely different reason for Muslim immigration to Europe. Yes, immigrant Muslims in America tend to be better educated, perhaps, but they are also significantly smaller in number. The Muslim "ghettoes" that the author criticizes were created when countries like Germany and France "imported" large numbers of cheap, unskilled workers from countries like Turkey to solve their labor shortage problem in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.

And as Der Spiegel itself documents in this 2004 article, these immigrants were then treated like guest workers with no rights, and not integrated into the society or given a path to citizenship. So it should hardly be a surprise that they're more alienated and at odds with mainstream Germany.

So, fine, it is indeed a "better" immigration policy to embrace the people you invite into your country to do your dirty work. Maybe American Muslims can teach Republicans to apply that lesson to certain other immigrants in this country.

News Flash: Muslim Denounces Terrorism!

Audah chose to issue his attack on Bin Laden on the Cornerstone program of Middle East Broadcasting, one of the prominent Arab satellite channels seen throughout the Arab world, on Sept. 14, coinciding with the sixth anniversary of 9/11 as well as the start of the holy month of Ramadan. That qualifies as pretty vigorous. He also has posted the letter on his website, in Arabic as well as English, which I reckon qualifies as a form of sustainment.


Sex in the Muslim World

A Dutch playwright tackles the intimate lives of Muslim women in ‘The Veiled Monologues.’

Sept. 28, 2007 - Five years ago actress and director Adelheid Roosen starred in the Dutch adaptation of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues.” Roosen has long been in the Dutch theater avant-garde—she’s the founder of a performance group that commissions work from immigrant Muslim women—so all that frank talk about the female anatomy made her wonder what kind of stories Islamic women would have to tell. The result is “The Veiled Monologues,” which, like its “Vagina” sister, weaves together dozens of interviews of women talking about eroticism and sex, as well as arranged marriage, rape and female circumcision.

Roosen’s monologues are indeed taboo-breaking, if not downright shocking. There is a tale of incestuous sex with cousins and uncles. There is a woman who refers to her vagina as “my zebra.” Strawberry bubblegum is used to illustrate a detailed discourse on the hymen. And the play is crammed with wisecracks, such as “Until you marry, your vagina is your parents’ property, so that your husband will receive it as a closed box.” When audiences ask Roosen what they can learn from “The Veiled Monologues,” she often quotes one of the women she interviewed, who said, “You Western women no longer want to be treated as women. You have been emancipated without bringing along your uterus.” Take that, ladies of America.


CENSORSHIP:
Egypt: U.S. Concern Over Rights Group

The White House expressed concern about what it called setbacks on press freedom and civil society in Egypt. “We are deeply concerned at the government’s recent decree authorizing the imminent closure of the Association for Human Rights Legal Aid,” an independent rights group, said Dana Perino, the White House press secretary, “as well as the conviction and sentencing of several newspaper editors.” An Egyptian court sentenced three journalists from the opposition newspaper Al Wafd to two years in prison after they were convicted of publishing lies about the justice minister, judicial sources said.

Prisons to Restore Purged Religious Books


WHY CHINA SHUT DOWN 18,401 WEBSITES

But this campaign seems more indiscriminate. In recent weeks, police nationally have been shutting down Internet data centers (IDCs), the physical computers that private firms rent – from state-owned or private companies – to host websites offering interactive features, say industry insiders. "With the approach of the Party Congress, the government wants the Internet sphere silent, to keep people from discussing social problems," says Isaac Mao, one of China's first bloggers, who is now organizing a censorship monitoring project. "Shutting down IDCs is a quick and effective way of shutting down interactive sites."

To avoid being blocked, Internet Service Providers (ISPs) in China and individual websites have been disabling chatrooms, forums, and other interactive features that might provide a platform for viewpoints unacceptable to the authorities.

F.I.S.A. Related (Big Brother):

Collecting of Details on Travelers Documented

The U.S. government is collecting electronic records on the travel habits of millions of Americans who fly, drive or take cruises abroad, retaining data on the persons with whom they travel or plan to stay, the personal items they carry during their journeys, and even the books that travelers have carried, according to documents obtained by a group of civil liberties advocates and statements by government officials.

The personal travel records are meant to be stored for as long as 15 years, as part of the Department of Homeland Security's effort to assess the security threat posed by all travelers entering the country. Officials say the records, which are analyzed by the department's Automated Targeting System, help border officials distinguish potential terrorists from innocent people entering the country.

The activists alleged that the data collection effort, as carried out now, violates the Privacy Act, which bars the gathering of data related to Americans' exercise of their First Amendment rights, such as their choice of reading material or persons with whom to associate. They also expressed concern that such personal data could one day be used to impede their right to travel.

"The federal government is trying to build a surveillance society," said John Gilmore, a civil liberties activist in San Francisco whose records were requested by the Identity Project, an ad-hoc group of privacy advocates in California and Alaska.

The DHS database generally includes "passenger name record" (PNR) information, as well as notes taken during secondary screenings of travelers. PNR data -- often provided to airlines and other companies when reservations are made -- routinely include names, addresses and credit-card information, as well as telephone and e-mail contact details, itineraries, hotel and rental car reservations, and even the type of bed requested in a hotel.

The records the Identity Project obtained confirmed that the government is receiving data directly from commercial reservation systems, such as Galileo and Sabre, but also showed that the data, in some cases, are more detailed than the information to which the airlines have access.

He said that travel records are among the most potentially invasive of records because they can suggest links: They show who a traveler sat next to, where they stayed, when they left. "It's that lifetime log of everywhere you go that can be correlated with other people's movements that's most dangerous," he said. "If you sat next to someone once, that's a coincidence. If you sat next to them twice, that's a relationship."

Zakariya Reed, a Toledo firefighter, said in an interview that he has been detained at least seven times at the Michigan border since fall 2006. Twice, he said, he was questioned by border officials about "politically charged" opinion pieces he had published in his local newspaper. The essays were critical of U.S. policy in the Middle East, he said. Once, during a secondary interview, he said, "they had them printed out on the table in front of me."

From WIRED:

Homeland Chief Blogs
By Noah Shachtman

Department of Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff has a blog. And it's just as sharp and incisive as you'd expect from the leader who coordinated the lightning-quick federal response to Hurricane Katrina, underplayed the terror threat to New York, and brought us security alerts based on the feelings in his gut.
Scott McNealy, Chairman of Sun Microsystems, once said, “Privacy is dead, get over it.” He was referring to the unprecedented ability of people and organizations to access information about any one of us.

Privacy is certainly not dead, but our society must go the second mile to protect it. The question that my Department faces is how to do that in our post-9/11 world where the need for greater security is paramount.
Speaking of Chertoff and his gut, I just can't resist...

Weekend News Roundup

My personal favorite from this week has got to be: TSA Moron Mistakes iPod Charger for Bomb Equipment.  This just displays the intellectual capacity of the average TSA worker and, just leads us deeper into the Stupid Well.  On the other hand, who would be so insane, and so addicted to their iPod that the normal battery time isn't enough?  With TSA questioning geeks and their inventions at a regular pace, our lives are invariably going to be more frustrating.  I like people who can make their own stuff like at make.com, but just like I say to the fat lady in the bikini - put it in the backyard.  Nobody wants to see that shit, especially at security in an airport.   You're doing nobody service making us miserable having to live with your addictions / ego.  And to the TSA workers, "go back to working at KMART!"

Antiquities:

More on Marbles in Motion

This is called architecture as moral pressure. 

Fashionable Fundies / Hijab:

The New Swimsuit Issue
Move over, Tankini. Since the full-coverage swimsuit dubbed the Burqini (as in burqa plus bikini) hit the international market in January, devout Muslim women have been snapping them up. T

The Stupid Well aka Passports / Gate Rape:
TSA Moron Mistakes Ipod Charger For Bomb Equipment


U.S. Will Allow Most Types of Lighters on Planes
Aviation authorities concluded that it was a waste of time to search for the lighters before passengers boarded.

Lawmakers said that if Mr. Reid had used a lighter, instead of matches, he might have been able to ignite the bomb, but Kip Hawley, assistant secretary for the Transportation Security Administration, said in an interview on Thursday that the ban had done little to improve aviation security because small batteries could be used to set off a bomb.

Matches have never been prohibited on flights.

“Taking lighters away is security theater,” Mr. Hawley said. “It trivializes the security process.” The policy change, which is to go into effect on Aug. 4, applies to disposable butane lighters, like Bics, and refillable lighters, like Zippos. Torch lighters, which have thin, hotter flames, will continue to be banned. A ban on liquids in containers greater than three ounces, which was imposed last summer after the disruption of a plot based in London to blow up planes headed to the United States, will remain in effect, but the security agency will modify its rules related to breast milk. Passengers will be allowed to carry breast milk in quantities greater than three ounces as long as it is declared for inspection at the security checkpoint. Currently, breast milk is allowed only if a passenger is traveling with an infant. In late 2005, security officials lifted a ban on small scissors, screwdrivers and other small tools, making a similar argument that searching for them was a waste of time. 

In the coming months, the agency will install new equipment intended to improve its ability to intercept explosives. The new equipment will include advanced X-ray machines that rapidly examine carry-on bags from many angles, making it easier to identify bomb components, and hand-held devices that can determine whether a liquid might be explosive. 

International Politics: 

Why Did the Cairene Cross the Road? 

To the uninitiated, Cairo traffic is ferocious and dangerous. (The July 17 New York Times described it as "chaos.") Yet Cairenes think nothing of walking in the street (unavoidable, given the dilapidated or nonexistent state of sidewalks in many areas), darting across four lanes of traffic, and wading into masses of oncoming cars, buses, and trucks. Although Egypt has its share of traffic deaths (about 6,000 per year, not too much more than Turkey—a country of roughly comparable population—which averages 4,500 traffic fatalities a year), most Cairenes seem fearless. After a few months, even I had no problem ambling through traffic along Cairo's central axes. Why? Well, I didn't go to Egyptian driving school, and I didn't study Cairo's traffic laws, because they don't matter much. Instead, like most Cairenes, I became habituated to the informal rules of the road. I eventually grew to learn—after quite a few near misses—when to cross a busy street, when to stay put, when a car would swerve, and when it wouldn't. As a result, Cairo traffic doesn't look so menacing to me anymore. 

The point of all this is not simply to reminisce, but to point out one of the least understood but critically important factors that influence politics: informal institutions. These uncodified rules shape people's behaviors and expectations and contrast with formal institutions—such as constitutions, laws, decrees, and regulations—that also frame the way people think and act.

Muslims in America: 

From Muslim Youths, a Push for Change

Participants at Unprecedented Summit With U.S. Officials Confront Extremist Images Attending what Muslim American activists say is the highest-level meeting ever between Muslim American youths and U.S. officials, Mohamed Sabur couldn't help but notice a frustrating paradox. Part of what motivated the 23-year-old to leave computer science for politics was anger at seeing his community constantly defined by extreme topics such as religious violence. And yet Sabur sat last week through unprecedented meetings with officials from the departments of Homeland Security, State and Justice, and one subject kept coming up: Muslim American youth radicalization. A video accessible on same page, as well. 

Articles On Egypt:

 Mahfouz Illuminates Hidden Horrors 

Like Arthur Koestler's "Darkness at Noon" or Victor Serge's "The Case of Comrade Tulayev," this fierce yet subtle novel lays bare the worst evil of totalitarian states. The evil lies not solely in the sudden arrests, the interrogations, and tortures, all of which are conveyed in stammered disclosures in "Café Karnak" — a device that gives them the impact of testimony — but in the way in which state terror contaminates its victims. Friendship becomes suspect and love is riddled with mistrust. In the characters of Qurunfula, the retired dancer who runs the café (and whose name means "clove," a fragrant but biting spice), the young dreamers Isma'il and Zaynab, as well as the sinister Khalid Safwan, we witness the relentless extinction of hope. 

Female circumcision holds sway in Egypt 

Cairo: To Sayeda, a mother of three girls, the Egyptian authorities' high-profile campaign to eradicate the age-old practice of female circumcision is due to "Western pressure". "My three girls have already been circumcised because this protects their chastity and is in line with our religious teachings," says Sayeda, a 38-year-old Muslim, who lives in a slum on the outskirts of Cairo. "My neighbours have circumcised their girls too. I have been told that only Jews do not circumcise their girls." 

Egypt: Inside the school of the Egyptian blogosphere

In other words, the Egyptians aren't merely sitting in front of their computer screens, blogging about the change they'd like to see happen — they are deeply committed to being a part of the process. By acting as watchdogs on the government and on the country's mainstream media, they have gained credibility beyond their local audience and attracted the attention of regional and international media that is following their every move.

Egypt: Inside the school of the Egyptian blogosphere (Part 2)
In order to better understand this highly organized Egyptian blogosphere and how bloggers perceive their role in this new, turbulent phase in their country's history, on March 15, 2007, I talked to three young Egyptian bloggers and activists: Rami Siam, Arabesque and Amr Gharbeia.



Internet Anonymity (Not!):

On the Internet, everyone may find you're a dog
Anonymity on the Web may seem attractive, but how you use it raises interesting ethical dilemmas.

There is also that nasty ethical issue: Just because you can write under a pseudonym doesn't mean you should, especially if it compromises your integrity or threatens your company.

Avoiding the use of pseudonyms online is not just good advice for public figures, it works for everyone. The freedom of the Internet doesn't mean you can do whatever you want without consequence. Many ways exist to trace "anonymous" posts. The Los Angeles Times, for example, used Internet addresses to trace Hiltzik's postings back to his work computer.

When speaking about the Internet at conferences or seminars, I give this advice about e-mail, posting comments in a forum, or sending instant messages: Don't write anything online that you would not like to see on the front page of The New York Times. Ask Bill Gates: That's where his e-mails ended up during the Microsoft antitrust case in the late 1990s.

On the Internet nobody may know you're a dog. But don't count on the fact that someone won't be able to find out where that dog lives.

Censorship: 

How Porn and Family-Friendly Photos Coexist on Flickr 

A country in crisis as fearful government cracks down on Islamist opposition 

Mubarak's obsession with Muslim Brotherhood deals blow to multiparty politics

House Committee Examines Human Rights in Azerbaijan, Egypt, Cuba

Another Bureaucratic Waste of Time, Doggie Do and Addictions

Well, seems like the red tape and time wasting business is big in the U.S. I often thought that developing countries were the worst abusers of regulation schemes, but they must’ve learned pretty well from their colonizers, just as we did.

On Friday March 2nd, 2007 I took Doggie to get her groomed and then in the afternoon to the vet. Got her transport papers and fretted all weekend as to how I would get them back in time. In 2003 we mailed the papers into the State Agricultural Department for the State Veterinarian to sign. We ended up having to stop in at the state office, on the way to the airport (J.F.K.,) because they did not arrive in the mail in time. The rule is you are required to have the dog seen, by your vet, within 10 days of international transport and then apply for the State papers. I just decided to go straight down to the office myself, and have the paperwork signed on Monday morning. This way I would not be getting ready for the trip and worrying about the paperwork all week. I have been tempted to just say, “fuck it” to the paperwork, but there will always someone who will want to go through the formalities, like customs does when you bring a dog back to the U.S.

Amazing things can happen to a bureaucracy when you show up in person. I put enough change in the parking meter for 40 minutes, thinking, “these asses will take forever.” Well, it took no more than 5 minutes - bada bing, bada boom! So I then went to Target, got a new folder to re-organize her papers, and printed out a photo of her to put inside the front cover. Doggie has more stamps in her passport (folder) than the rest of us, cause she doesn’t have to get hers renewed. I also made sure to have her AKC registration, front and center of the first page, since a website said Egyptian authorities will want to see where you bought your pet.

At U.S. security, Number 1 son accompanied the dog, while I paid all the extra Lufthansa fees for Doggie and extra baggage. U.S. security asked, as usual to take Doggie out from her crate. Why - we don’t really know. The last time, they x-rayed the crate, this time nothing, except for one strange comment. The security guy picks up her tail (which is docked,) peeks at her butt and says, “good thing she’s got short hair or we’d have to do a body cavity search.” (Say what! They want Gate Rape my Doggie!) I can only guess that they put her through the same type of explosives scanning machine that I went through the last time. Is this because she had a one way ticket? It's the only logical excuse I can think of, but we all know Homeland Security's logic is highly questionable.

Doggie was not drugged and has not been given travel drugs for a while now, due to the fact that drugs totally mess with her – body and mind. The drug is meant to relax her, but I have never seen a dog try to pry a crate gate off with her mouth like she has or bounce off it's walls either. Drugs just make her angry and bad-assed, so we have decided on tough love. Besides, they don’t kick in when they’re supposed to and it takes her several days to recuperate. She was actually quite relaxed when we saw her at Frankfurt, being picked up and put onto another flatbed – you know, like “Yeah, I’m the Queen.”

No one from Lufthansa asks for the transport papers and no one in Cairo asked either, or for the AKC papers. Cairo customs did ask me what I had in one duffel bag, which had a tube of posters, carpet tape, weather stripping and miscellaneous household type supplies, half of which I couldn’t even remember. I must admit I threw in an unopened bag of Greek Oregano (on the vine), which I bought in Houston, and put into a zip-lock bag. I did think, "well this could get me into trouble, but only an idiot would think it's an illegal substance." Greek oregano is the best and I really have a hard time living without it. I’m Younani (Greek) and it is an addiction. That mixed with lemon juice and olive oil marinating on some meat and well, I got my own little souvlaki thang goin’ on. And that’s going to be happening real soon, now that I’m back in Cairo.

Pushin' An Elephant Up The Stairs aka Diving Into The Stupid Well

Frustration and disappointment #1:

My son applied to get his passport renewed and paid $126.00 for the expedited service. Two girls from his dorm (same floor - can you believe that? I thought co-ed meant same dorm, not same floor) went 2 days later and already received their passports. Maybe girls don't look like terrorists? Granted the boy has lived in Abu Dhabi and visited Baku and Oman and we seemed to have walked in the footsteps of Mohammed Atta the summer of 2001 (Prague is incredible!) He and his sister demanded to have their passports stamped at every border. He doesn't shave all that often, has wavy, frizzy longish hair, and due to his Greek background has been mistaken for a Palestinian.

When he went online to track it there was nothing, the phone number for the passport center is constantly busy or a recording comes on, tells you they're very busy and hangs up. I tried calling several times late at night (they're open till midnight) and early in the A.M. Same old same old. Apparently there's no being "put on hold" allowed. So he went down for a personnal visit (Monday). Since he's in D.C. this is no problem. He found out that they can't find any evidence of it what-so-ever. So much for bettering the communications systems, since 9-11. I can't understand why, since he already had a passport, they can't plug that number into a computer, check off renewal and track the damn thing (Amazon and everybody else seems to have that technology all figured out.) So after spending an extra $126.00 to expedite it, plus the ususal $30.00 at the Post Office-Ben Franklin Branch in DC - since 1775 (what are they using? - The Pony Express?) all the government can do is give him the run around. He spent hours in line after line only to be told,

"Oh yeah, all the passports processed that day got screwed up."

(Hmm, what happened to them? Were they stolen? Lost? Sold to terrorists or illegal immigrants? Has Homeland Security been notified? Do you people even give a shit!)

"Besides, you're not leaving in 2 weeks, so we can't deal with you today."

"No, I'm leaving in 12 days."

"Well, that's almost 2 weeks. So come back on Wednesday, with all your documents and we can probably give you a new passport then."

So I had to FEDEX all the documents to him BECAUSE THE U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT IS FULL OF LEECHES SUCKING OFF THE PUBLIC TEAT DOWN IN FOGGY BOTTOM, WHERE THE STUPID WELL IS AN IMMENSE BOTTOMLESS PIT!!!!!!

At least in Azerbaijan, when you see the head of customs is the 10th most wealtiest guy in the country, you know where your money (and some of your possessions) are going. It's a very simple system, which works elsewhere in the world, except in the old U.S. of A. Here we deride all those small minded corrupt countries, that have an efficient system where everyone knows who the boss is - kind of like working for Tony Soprano. But here in the U.S. the State Department, Homeland Security and all the departments working with them, couldn't find a basketball in a paper bag!

The last time I left the country, I got the extra, extra, extra special treatment, which some people refer to as "gate rape." Apparently because I had a one way ticket (cause I'm moving to Cairo and that's how the company booked it) my ticket was checked with XXXXX all over. So not only did I not get to go through regular security, or next to regular security, I got to take off half my clothing and walk into a box that shoots air at me to detect explosives, with all the Arabs (yeah, it looked like I was the only non-Arab targeted.) I got nothing against being treated like shit, but it should be applied on an equal basis. Treat everyone like shit, goddammit, but do it professionally, not like a bunch of ex- Walmart greeters!

Today my son received the FEDEX, got more photos taken and ran down to the center. He happened to get "a really nice lady" because he called me twice for me to spell out my maiden name and then for my middle name, which I never use. All in all, he had to pay another $126.00 for an expedited process and was told it would be ready tomorrow - Wednesday.

Seeing is believing.

Now, disappointment #2:

I ordered the Apple T.V. right when I got back to the U.S. almost a month ago - gotta have that new technology. Now Apple has decided they need to work on it some more and it won't be shipped to me until after I leave. Vagabondblogger's boss man and she had been watching downloaded iTunes shows on their computers, in bed, late at night back in Cairo (quite snuggly, I must say.) It's kinda cool actually. I can deal with this Apple thing, but you know what they say, "when it rains, it pours," so what next?

I'm just hoping the old lady who's accompanying me can keep her cool until the trip. Besides the fact that she wraps her teeth through the grates in the crate door (she's not a good traveler,) My English Springer Spaniel (13 years old) has decided, with all the snow and ice, to push her luck. I love old dogs, they're so damn oblivious. I can only say, she will have much better quarters than me and my son back in coach, with middle seats.

Did I say my travel agent sucks?

I can't wait.

What next?