Sunday, April 12, 2009

"How's Your Buss?"

Yesterday The Boss Man and VB had some quick running around to do. The Apple TV was getting very moody. It was freezing, or not responding, and when it did work, it saturated the screen with neon colored pixels. So The Boss Man needed to run to Radio Shack, as he decided to rewire the whole system. VB needed to run to the pharmacy, and grocery store. We agreed Road 9 was where this errand run would take place. We drove, luckily found a parking spot, split up, and agreed to meet back at the car.

VB gets to the grocers (Metro), can't find her milk, and the veges she needs look so bad she doesn't dare touch them. So she runs to another shop, and reluctantly decides to get her vegetables at the stand next to The Mermaid Restaurant. One young man who works there is a creep. He's always trying to sex things up. VB thinks auhgal may have referenced him once in her posts.

While the young man is wrapping up her lettuce,

he says, "How's your buss?"

VB, "What?" (Did I hear that right?)

"How's your buss?"

VB, "What?" (Yeah, there's no "p" in Arabic, so....)

"How's your buss?"

VB (trying to act totally confused), "I'm sorry, I don't understand." (Thinking, if you are in any way shape and form referring to my vagina...!)

"You husband, the buss."

VB, "Ohhh, my husband. He's fine. That's good. That's a real good one." (You fucking little shit.)

VB pays, takes her veges and leaves.

Why was he asking about my buss? Could it be because of a play that was put on here in Cairo called The Bussy Chronicles? There's absolutely no way he knows about The Boss Man.

For sure, that's the last damn time VB visits this shop, without The Boss Man, who seemed to have a fit of laughter over it. VB will just have him walk in and announce that he's The Buss Man!

Now, just as an aside, how did The Buss / Boss Man get his name?

When we were living in Abu Dhabi, there was a Yemeni carpet salesman, Abdul, who visited us quite regularly. He did business with many of our middle eastern neighbors, selling carpets from the back of his old station wagon. At first VB refused to allow him to come into the villa without the presence of The Boss Man. She didn't know him from Adam. As he got to know us, and vice versa, he became a regular visitor. He stopped by on 9-12-2001, and watched TV with us that evening.VB was supposed to teach him backgammon, and in return, he would escort her to Yemen, without the kidnapping part.

One night he stops by, and brings in a carpet he knows VB will definitely like. The caretaker, Siddi (or as the Brits refer to them "Houseboy") was around. Siddi worked American hours, 8:00 AM - 4:00 PM, even though he lived with us. VB's got to have some privacy, and Siddi's got to have a life too. Siddi was a nosey little fuck, but that was a good thing...sometimes. He and his buddies knew everything about everyone in the neighborhood. All VB had to do was ask, and it was like hearing a gossip columnist with a Hindu accent. This time he brings Abdul in to the house, as if.... VB looks at the carpet, and says, "I can't buy this right now. I want J (I say his name, IE my husband) to check it out too." Siddi chimes in, "Boss Man not here. Madame no can buy carpet with no Boss Man."

VB tries to explain, "No. I can buy it if I want to. I would just like J to be here to look at it, before I decide."

Siddi: At this point, tickled pink, giggling. He's not only being super nosy, he's getting my goat: "Boss Man not here. Madam no can buy carpet with no Boss Man."

Abdul: "Oh, so J is The Boss Man."

VB just decides to give up before she either breaks out in to an hysterical howl, or strangles both the little scamps.

So, in deference to my husband's totally awesome ability to control everything (except Siddi), even when he's not only not in town, not in the country, not even on the same continent, VB decided to refer to him as "The Boss Man." Not just any boss man, but "The Boss Man."

What about the Apple TV? The Boss Man got the Apple TV working again. It's just as great as it was before. VB and The Boss Man love Apple TV.

To the little gigolo on Road 9: "The Buss Man is doing quite well, thank you very much."

And now the question that comes to mind is: Should The Boss Man's name be changed to The Buss Man?

Oh, BTW, Happy Easter to all you Westerners. We celebrate next Sunday.

No comments:

Post a Comment